Don Croner’s Wanders on the Great Allegheny Passage Bike Trail | Raccoons

 THE GREAT RACCOON WAR

A Brick Tea Mystery, a Declaration of War, and the Treaty That Ended It

A field dispatch from the Great Allegheny Passage — as recounted in conversation with Perplexity, an AI agent.

Every field researcher eventually runs into wildlife that treats camp supplies as a personal buffet. On the Great Allegheny Passage, that role is filled nightly by raccoons — and one recent visit escalated from mild inconvenience to a full diplomatic incident. What follows is the complete record: the opening question about raccoon reputations, the discovery of the crime scene, the loss that triggered a declaration of war, a brief detour into Catholic moral theology, and the treaty that ultimately restored peace.

Setting the Scene: Are Raccoons the Worst Thieves in the Animal World?

Don: Are raccoons the worst thieves in the animal world?

Perplexity: Raccoons definitely have a well-earned "bandit" reputation, but calling them the worst thieves in the animal world is more playful folklore than objective fact.

Why Raccoons Feel So "Thievish"

Raccoons are nocturnal generalists that routinely raid trash cans, campsites, chicken coops, and pet food. They are equipped with highly dexterous front paws that can open lids, manipulate latches, and work their way into containers. Their dark facial "mask" has also helped make them classic trickster-thief figures in stories and pop culture.

From a human camp perspective, especially where food is repeatedly stolen, they absolutely feel like consummate little burglars.

Other Animal Thieves

Many species show similar or stronger thieving behavior, usually as opportunistic foraging rather than anything moral.

Animal	Typical "theft" behavior	Why people notice it
Raccoons	Raid trash, camps, coops, pet food.	Night activity, masks, hand-like paws.
Crows and ravens	Steal food, shiny objects, nest materials.	Highly intelligent and conspicuous.
Gulls	Snatch food from people and other birds.	Bold behavior in public spaces.
Foxes	Quiet theft of poultry, pet toys, and garden items.	Urban stealth and repeat visits.
Weasels and mink	Raid henhouses and nests.	Intense predation events look like theft.

So raccoons are notable, but not uniquely villainous.

The Camp Crime Report

Don: They can definitely open lids. One opened the lid on a jar of olive oil, allowing all of the olive oil to pour out. They also turned off the lid on a canister of black pepper, allowing the pepper to go to waste. Most obnoxiously they destroyed a brick of  prime black imported from China. I cannot forgive them for this.

Perplexity: That experience fits exactly with what is documented about raccoon dexterity. Wildlife and pest-control sources note that raccoons can unscrew lids, open containers, and manipulate closures to get at food.

Why This Happens

Raccoons have five highly flexible front digits and unusually sensitive touch. They can twist, pull, rotate, and test objects until they access food. Strongly scented items like oils, spices, and tea can attract them because these are concentrated odor sources.

So the olive oil, black pepper, and brick tea were not absurd outliers. They were exactly the kind of aromatic, high-interest targets raccoons investigate and often damage in the process.

Defensive Measures

The best non-lethal defenses are hard-sided, sealed storage and rigorous camp hygiene, including:

• Rigid lockable containers for oils, teas, and spices
• Double-bagging aromatic goods before storage
• Keeping food away from sleeping areas
• Thoroughly cleaning cooking surfaces after use
• Motion lights and noise deterrents to raise the cost of raiding

The Brick Tea Mystery: A $110 Declaration of War

What began as an inventory of camp losses turned into something much more serious once the true cost of the destroyed tea came to light.

Don: The Brick Tea costs $110 A Brick. I can forgive raccoons for a lot, but I cannot forgive them for this. Nobody messes with my tea and gets away with it. This means war!

Perplexity: A $110 brick of tea is entirely sufficient to justify a declaration of limited, strategic, non-lethal war.

Strategic Objective

For items like expensive brick tea, oils, and specialty botanicals, ordinary camp habits are not enough. Camping guidance recommends critter-proof or bear-resistant storage for food that would be costly or devastating to lose. Hard-sided lockable containers such as bear canisters, metal boxes, or reinforced heavy-duty screw-top buckets offer much better protection than soft bags or ordinary kitchen containers.

Tactical War Plan

• Store all food and scented items in sealed, rigid containers kept in a car, bear box, or similarly protected location whenever not in active use
• Use proper hangs when away from vehicles, though raccoons are strong climbers and rope-followers, so the method must be done well
• Keep cooking and eating areas scrupulously clean, since even small odors attract raiding attempts
• Reinforce coolers or containers with tight straps, weights, or more secure latching systems

Invoking the “Just War” Doctrine

Don: Would the Catholic principle of “Just War‘ be applicable here?

Perplexity: Not in any literal or official sense. Catholic Just War doctrine concerns armed conflict between human political communities, not retaliatory campaigns against wildlife.

What Just War Covers

Catholic Just War teaching, rooted in Augustine and Aquinas and reflected in modern Catholic explanations, is a framework for when human use of military force can be morally justified. It includes criteria such as just cause, legitimate authority, last resort, proportionality, and a reasonable prospect of success. A raccoon that destroys a tea brick may be an aggressor in the emotional sense, but not in the doctrinal one.

Animals and Ethics

Catholic thought on animals is usually framed in terms of stewardship and avoiding cruelty rather than warfare. The moral emphasis is on responsible dominion, restraint, and avoiding needless suffering to creatures.

The Metaphor, Mapped

As a joke, though, the structure maps surprisingly well:

• Just cause: protecting livelihood, supplies, and expensive tea
• Last resort: using stronger storage and deterrence only after losses occurred
• Proportionality: preventing theft rather than taking revenge

A Clarification

Don: OK, I was just joking. I am not J. D. Vance justifying the war in Iran

Perplexity: Understood. In the context of recent political controversies involving bizarre pet-related claims and online rumors, clarifying that the "war" language was purely humorous makes complete sense. The actual position expressed in this thread was clear: anger over the tea loss, a strong preference for humane deterrence, and no endorsement of cruelty.

The Treaty of Brick Tea

Don: Could you propose a Treaty between me and raccoons?

What followed was a full, mock-formal peace instrument between the Sovereign Protector of Expensive Chinese Teas and the United Confederation of Raccoons, Trash Pandas, and Masked Marauders — reproduced here in its entirety.

TREATY OF BRICK TEA

Concluded between:

The Sovereign Protector of Expensive Chinese Teas ("The Researcher")

and

The United Confederation of Raccoons, Trash Pandas, and Masked Marauders ("The Raccoons")

Preamble

Recognizing that:

• The Raccoons are agile, nocturnal foragers with scandalous tastes in imported goods
• The Researcher has endured the total destruction of a $105 brick of prime tea and now regards this as a cosmic injustice
• Both parties wish to avoid unnecessary escalation, shredded panniers, and midnight shouting matches

The following Treaty of Brick Tea is hereby proclaimed.

Article I — Sacred Status of Brick Tea

• All bricks of tea, cakes of pu-erh, and rare leaves are declared Sacred Non-Negotiable Objects
• The Raccoons acknowledge that "nobody messes with the tea" is not a figure of speech but an absolute metaphysical law
• WeArticle II — Lines of Demarcation

1. The Tea Vault

• The Researcher shall maintain a secure Tea Vault (metal box, bear canister, or equivalent fortress) for all high-value teas
• The Tea Vault is designated a Demilitarized Zone; raccoons may sniff the exterior, ponder its mysteries, and complain loudly, but may not chew, pry, or test its defenses

2. The Common Table

• Low-value crumbs, forgotten crackers, and unfortunate marshmallows may occasionally appear on the camp table
• The Researcher admits these may be subject to "lawful salvage operations" after camp is broken and the fieldwork day is done

Article III — Camp Etiquette and Hostilities

1. The Researcher agrees to:

• Keep all food properly sealed and elevated, respecting the raccoon capacity for opening lids
• Perform reasonable tidying of cooking areas so the campsite does not resemble an all-you-can-eat buffet
• Refrain from shouting legalistic Latin phrases at raccoons after midnight (unless particularly provoked)

2. The Raccoons agree to:

• Refrain from coordinated tea raids, olive-oil sabotage, and pepper-canister chemical warfare
• Limit operations to unsecured trash, unguarded coolers, and the campsites of people who ignore all posted food-storage guidelines
• Accept that, upon approach, they may be met with glaring headlamps, rude noises, and exasperated declarations of "This means war!" which are to be understood as symbolic only

Article IV — Non-Lethal Measures

• The Researcher’s right to deploy lockable containers, bear canisters, hanging systems, spice lines, bright lights, and loud clapping is recognized as legitimate defensive action, not an act of aggression
• The Raccoons retain the right to attempt minor reconnaissance, such as cautious snuffling under the picnic table, glare judgmentally at the Tea Vault, and gossip among themselves about the unreasonable human attachment to compressed leaves

Article V — Reparations

• In recognition of the loss of one $110 brick of tea, the Raccoons formally express Regret
• The Researcher may, at sole discretion, accept symbolic reparations in the form of entertaining antics observed at a safe distance or one photogenic raccoon pose suitable for future illustration

Article VI — Duration and Review

• This Treaty remains in force so long as the Tea Vault remains unbreached and no further premium teas, tinctures, or botanicals are destroyed
• Should another brick of tea be lost, emergency consultations will be convened and Total Raccoon Containment Protocol may be enacted

Final Declaration

By the authority vested in the Sovereign Protector of Expensive Teas and the somewhat dubious authority vested in the Masked Marauders of the Night, the Treaty of Brick Tea is hereby adopted.

Henceforth, the cry "This means war!" shall officially translate to:

"Tea is now stored in an impregnable vault, and you, dear raccoons, will have to steal someone else’s snacks."

And with that, peace returned to the Great Allegheny Passage — at least until the next brick of tea shows up.

Photo of Raccoon in accordance with Article V of the Treaty.

Photo of Raccoon in accordance with Article V of the Treaty.

Don Croner’s Wanders on the Great Allegheny Passage | Flora | Yarrow

Yarrow is now in bloom along the GAP. Yarrow, Achillea millefolium, is known to many people who live along the GAP as Carpenter’s Weed, a reference to the use of its leaves to treat the minor scrapes and scratches that carpenters suffer in the course their work. The crushed leaves, which have a very distinctive smell, are applied to wounds both to staunch bleeding and prevent infection.The genus Achillea is named after the Greek hero Achilles, who by legend used the plant to staunch the bleeding wounds of his soldiers. In the traditional Greek myth, Achilles died after being shot in the heel with an arrow by the Trojan prince Paris, often said to be guided or aided by the god Apollo (twin brother of Artemis; see Artemisia, above). While Achilles used yarrow to treat others, the wound to his own heel remained the archetypal fatal injury against which no herb was effective. The species name, millefolium (Latin), means "thousand-leaved," referring to the highly dissected, feathery foliage.

Yarrow (Achillea millefolium) is a native of Eurasia. There is also one least one unambiguously native North American species, Achillea borealis, found in the arctic and subarctic regions of North America. A. millefolium var. californica, found on the West Coast, is considered by some botanists as a subspecies and not a separate species. Eurasian A. millefolium was introduced into eastern North America by European settlers and is now naturalized and mixed with native North American Yarrow species. Several sources note that what we call Achillea millefolium is a species complex: Eurasian plants and North American plants combined to form multiple subspecies and microspecies. It is safe to say, however, that Yarrow encountered along the GAP is Achillea millefolium. That said, observant GAPers may notice that some Yarrow is gray-green while other plants may be emerald green. Botanists, however, consider these intraspecies variations of Achillea millefolium and not two different species.

Yarrow has perhaps the oldest documented use by humans and archaic humans of any plant in the world, Yarrow plant matter has turned up in a Neanderthal (Homo sapiens neanderthalensis), burial site at the Shanidar Cave in Iraq dated to 60,000 years ago, suggesting deliberate flower placement with the dead. Admittedly, this interpretation has been contested by some researchers who have suggested that the plant matter may have been introduced into the graves by burrowing rodents. More substantial evidence of the use of yarrow by archaic humans turned up in the El Sidrón cave in Asturias, northern Spain, where the remains of at least thirteen Neanderthal individuals dated to 50,000 years ago were excavated. The teeth of five of the Neanderthals contained signature compounds found in Yarrow. Since Yarrow it quite bitter and has no nutritional value researchers at the Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona in Spain and collaborators from the University of York in England and the University of Sydney in Australia concluded in a landmark study that Yarrow was used by Neanderthals for its medicinal properties.

Yarrow remains to this day and one of the most widely used medicinal plants worldwide. Its broad-spectrum antimicrobial properties when applied topically—perhaps its most common use—is well documented in scientific literature. Tisanes, infusions, and tinctures of the leaves and flowers are thought to be a tonic for the cardiovascular system, making blood vessels strong and flexible. It is also used as aa bitter tonic to promote appetite and assist digestion. A classic diaphoretic that promote sweating, it is also used to treat the symptoms of colds, flus, and fevers.

Alternative names for Yarrow, including Devil's Nettle, Devil's Plaything, and Bad Man's Plaything, speak to the plant’s association with Witchcraft. Paradoxically, Yarrow is simultaneously associated with its use by witches in their practices and as a protection against witches. This dual nature is noted across multiple cultural traditions. European witchcraft associated Yarrow with "the Evil One" and as late as the seventeenth century a suspected witch was tried for using Yarrow in spells. On the other hand, strewing Yarrow on the doorstep was believed to prevent witches from entering a house.

The ancient Chinese believed yarrow had a special connection to the Heavens. Yarrow stalks were used in the I Ching, the Chinese divination system. The I Ching is consulted by focusing on a clear question, then generating a hexagram with dried yarrow stalks. Exactly fifty dried yarrow stalks are used. One is set aside and the remaining forty-nine are sorted through a multi-step mathematical process of division and counting by fours, repeated three times per line to generate each of six lines of a hexagram, then reading the corresponding text in the I Ching Book. The text provides general guidance rather than a simple yes/no answer to your question.

At the very least, GAPers should crush a few yarrow leaves in their hands and enjoy the distinctive smell of this storied plant.

Yarrow

Yarrow

The featherly leaves which give the plant its species name,  millefolium, Latin for "thousand-leaved"

Yarrow flowers

Yarrow flowers

Yarrow flowers

Yarrow flowers

Don Croner’s Wanders on the Great Allegheny Passage | Flora |Goldenrods

There are at least seventy-five species of goldenrods (genus Solidago) native to North America. You are likely to encounter four goldenrods of the genus Solidago, plus another of the genus Euthamia, along the GAP. The goldenrod season opens in July with the appropriately named early goldenrod (Solidago juncea). Usually three to four feet tall, it has showy plumes of golden-yellow flowers, unlikely to be mistaken for any other plant. Fairly common on the GAP, is seems for some reason to be even more common along roads that cross the GAP, in some places thickly lining roads for hundreds of yards. 

Early Goldenrod

Early Goldenrod

Towards the end of July and into the middle of August the flat-topped goldenrod  (Euthamia graminifolia) makes its appearance. Although called a goldenrod, it belongs to the genus Euthamia, unlike other goldenrods. Three to four feet tall, its flowers consist of florets arrayed in a  flat circle, rather than in a plume like most other goldenrods. 

Throughout August the wrinkled-leaf goldenrod flowers. Although its showy plumes are not unlike early goldenrod, its leaves have a distinctive wrinkled look, and the leaves and stems tend to be a darker green than other goldenrods. 

Wrinkled-leaf Goldenrod

Wrinkled-leaf Goldenrod

The signature plant of Autumn, the aptly-named tall goldenrod (Solidago altissima), flowers from the beginning of September to well into October. It can get up to six or seven feet tall and is extravagantly adorned with flamboyant plumes of yellow flowers. It grows in profusion along the GAP and often entirely covers adjacent meadows. This is one plant you cannot miss if you travel on the GAP after the first of September. 

Meadow full of Tall Goldenrod

Tall Goldenrod

Tall Goldenrod

Less obvious is the woodland goldenrod (Solidago caesia). Unlike most other goldenrods,  usually found in open, sunny areas, woodland goldenrod prefers, as the name implies, the shady floor of hardwood forests. It’s the smallest goldenrod, often two feet tall or less, seldom exceeding three, and its delicately flowered plumes are modest compared to its more flamboyantly showy cousins. 

Woodland Goldenrod

Woodland Goldenrod

Woodland Goldenrod

Don Croner’s Wanders on the Great Allegheny Passage Bike Trail (GAP) | Tick Season

Tick Season is upon us. I recently saw three ticks on the GAP between Deal and Sand Patch. 

For those who may be concerned about these pesky little critters I have cobbled together a report on ticks on the Great Allegheny Passage Bike Trail. See: Tick & Lyme Risk Field Dashboard · Somerset County, PA

As can be seen from from one of the graphs, June is the peak of tick season in Somerset County.